Saying it with flowers

Mr Darker - Crayford Headmaster

I never knew Mr Darker personally - but I almost felt I did…

My dad was born in 1913 at a time of great poverty and being the eldest child he also had a lot of responsibilities after his mother left home with her husband’s brother - obviously causing a massive scandal at that time.

Mr William Darker was the headmaster at the church school dad attended and throughout his life he spoke of him with great fondness. He always said that Mr Darker was “hard, but fair”.

I think that along with the other boys he had a fair share of the cane - however, he never got the cane for being late, as the school playground was at the end of their garden and he used to climb over the wall.

He also never forgot that that Mr Darker bought him his first pair of spectacles when his own father couldn’t afford them…

He encouraged his interest in gardening (which was his joy right up until his mid eighties) and helped get him his job as a gardener at Eardemont




I have been doing some research about Mr Darker just recently and was interested to learn that he taught adults in the evening as, just a few years prior to dad’s death, he mentioned for the first time that, after he left school, he attended evening classes. Of course I now realise who ran them…

I think he had to pay a small amount to attend and he earned this extra money by working on farms in Kent on his one day off on Sunday. His hours were long at Eardemont - 6 days a week - and working until 10.00 pm at night in the summer - for no extra money. He gave his father all his wages and was given 6d back as ‘pocket money’.

He often spoke of how Mr Darker would doff (touch) his hat when he met pupils in the street. The boys reciprocated with their caps - but all felt a great sense of respect at being acknowledged by their headmaster.

The headmaster also helped save my dad’s life as when he got blood poisoning in his leg (presumably through some cut or scratch) he helped to get him into the infirmary attached to the Workhouse in Dartford - the next town.

He was there for several weeks and dad’s abiding memory was of how well he was fed… isn’t that sad?

In the research I have done recently I have a learned a little of Mr Darker’s background - and believe I now understand more about his philanthropy.

He was born in 1855 in Sydenham (which then came under Kent) but as his father was a Carpenter it gives you some idea of just how hard he would have needed to work to become a schoolmaster and how he understood that education was the key to self improvement - but also, how poverty generally impeded self advancement.

He married in Chelsea in 1879 (his wife is listed as being a dressmaker) and then went on to have eight children. Sadly, his wife died in 1896 and it was in 1907 when took on the appointment as headmaster in my home town.

I do know that he lived in the Schoolhouse - but whether he re-married or had a housekeeper I just don’t know - and my dad never mentioned his family at all.

I’ve learned that one of the first things that he did when he took over the school was to get rid of the slates and also to start a school library - and that was when he began teaching adults in the evening. He also obtained dictionaries for the older boys.

He introduced the gardening lessons in 1913 and by 1915 the school had 15 plots - which (for a token sum) all the produce was given to the boys - which must have been a great help to their families. I read an amusing mention of the fact that Mr Lyle (the mineral water manufacturer in the town) donated four loads of manure!

From my research I have noted how he was so concerned with social conditions that, at parish meetings he regularly spoke of the poverty and how the children suffered from lack of food. He wanted the children to have a dinner in school but as this wasn’t possible it was arranged for 50 children to have free dinners, 4 times a week, at the ‘British Workman’s Coffee House’ in the High street.

I now also understand why he quickly he got my father in the infirmary when he had blood poisoning, as there is a reference to ‘the deplorable state of the boy’s boots’ and how one boy had died at the infirmary of tetanus after a nail entered his toe. Mr Darker tried to keep a supply of boots at hand for those who had the greatest need.

I feel quite humbled when I consider the untiring, hard work, that Mr Darker put into trying to improve the conditions for ‘his boys’.

Those years were filled with poverty; life was hard for adult and child alike and I am filled with admiration that Mr Darker was able to help improve the quality of life for those who had so little.
His generosity and influence carried down through the years and - certainly in my dad’s case - recalled throughout a lifetime…

My dad had no means of acknowledging his gratitude in a public way, but through the means of the Internet, I do...

Thank You - and God Bless You Mr Darker.

Life is just a bowl of cherries - isn't it?

Nothing lasts - and sometimes that's good and sometimes that's bad...

60p a 1st class stamp from 30th April

The photo above is a  - copy - of a Victorian wall mounted pillar box which we bought our son for his birthday last year and which is mounted in our back garden.

I thought at that time there were 4 postal collections a day (amazing enough!) but then I came across this:-

Victorian London - Communications - Post - Delivery Times and Postal Regulations

Regulations of the Twopenny Post Office.- The principal office is at the General Post Office, St. Martin's-le-Grand There are, besides, upwards of 400 receiving houses for letters, both in town and country. There are seven collections and deliveries of letters in town daily, and five deliveries daily at all places in the environs of London, situate within a circle of three miles' distance from the head establishment in St. Martin's le Grand, that having been determined as the limits of the Post Office. The country delivery, as it is called, extends to a distance of twelve miles from the metropolis, and most places within that limit have four despatches and four deliveries daily (Sundays excepted). The hours by which letters should be put into the receiving houses in town for each delivery are as follow -

 For delivery in town,
Over night by eight o'clock, for the first delivery.
Morning by eight o'clock, for the second delivery.
Morning by ten o'clock, for the third delivery.
Morning by twelve o'clock, for the fourth delivery.
Afternoon by two o'clock, for the fifth delivery.
Afternoon by four o'clock, for the sixth delivery.
Afternoon by six o'clock, for the seventh delivery.

 For delivery in the country,
The preceding evening by six o'clock, for the first delivery,
Morning by eight o'clock, for the second delivery.
Morning by twelve o'clock, for the third delivery.
Afternoon by two o'clock, for the fourth delivery.

I only recall 2 deliveries a day, when I was young it was 2 1/2d for a postcard or unsealed letter and 3d for a sealed letter. These prices lasted for years.

Then the cost of postage went higher and higher... and 2 deliveries went down to one. We also now find that, sometimes as often as twice a week, the postman doesn't deliver in this road at all (and we are suburban London)

Now the prices have risen even higher and the cost of 60p for a 1st class letter (dependant on size and depth) will probably mean that even less mail is sent through the postal system. Apart from missing deliveries and high charges we often get other people's post - and some of ours just goes missing

Outfits to be worn by 'Ambassadors' for London Olympics 2012

Although she was fortunate to be picked, I do pity my dear friend P for the uniform that she will be required to wear as an Ambassador ( and has to be worn from HOME - no sneaky changing at the railway stations!)

CLICK HERE AND  PUT ON SUNGLASSES!

They have been told they can keep them (and wear them!!!) after the games. My goodness - wouldn't red, white and blue been more appropriate?

I have admiration for all those who will be giving their time freely and willingly though...

30,000 people applied and 8,000 were chosen - well done P!

Not an Olympic Games supporter myself - hate sport and all that money being spent - plus we will find it almost impossible to get to our Central  London hospitals throughout about 8 weeks  ( closures both before and after both games) as both Woolwich and Greenwich are nearby. Also not happy about local park and common land usage  http://www.nogoe2012.com/  (that link relates to Greenwich Park - Blackheath and Woolwich Common have also been commandeered - Woolwich Common covered with a huge area of white plastic coated structures which look like giant milk bottles - and that is just the buildings, never mind the stands and parking (right next door to our local Hospital )

  Shooting Range Site on Woolwich Common in photo above

Above - Fencing beginning to be erected outside the top of Greenwich Park (Equestrian Olympic Site) on Blackheath - Circus field.

Security is also a major issue http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088986/London-2012-Olympics-security-Special-forces-strength-Thames.html  and only a few Sundays ago we had 2 jets flying up and down the Thames past us (I hadn't thought of the Olympics when it was happening - I actually thought they were intercept jets (they are!) and something major was occurring at that moment!

Drought - It's official!

The older you get, the more weather variations you live through - and in this SE corner of the Uk we have have certainly had some interesting times! ( In my great grandfather's day we even had Frost Fayres held on the River Thames)

Now it is a drought again (1976 was the most amazing heat wave ever - not that drought means hot weather - just lack of rain)

Hose pipe ban starts at the beginning of next month - no big flower displays for us this year!

The local NEWSHOPPER reported last week on the effect of partially opening sluice gates n the River Cray at Crayford and so this week I went along to have a look.

Here everything does look fresh and green and it is raining as I write this - but we are on clay soil (below sea level) so we will soon dry up.

Hell No (I'm not alright)

The title just about sums me up at the moment! Our health issues are complicated and worrying and I'm finding it all too hard to deal with (no problems between J, M and myself; just what we are now dealing with altogether) The renal unit are making me an appointment with one of their counsellors - although I don't think even they can work miracles!

Nanci says you can use this song to get your anger out about anything - not just political issues. I have anger and worry about about our health, uncaring attitudes of people who could help, injustice and welfare reform. Pain, anger and worry are blighting each day - negativity doesn't help I know - but you would have to live in our situation to truly understand.

Mantle - mental! - cat

So far Georgie has climbed right up to ceiling height - using various means. Dials random numbers on the phone using his paws and sat on the emergency Bell Link box (security for our son) causing alarming beeps and a voice at the other end saying " are you alright Mr R?".

He has claimed the bean bag (which M rests his legs on) as HIS! and has broken a Victorian jardiniere.He also does 'the wall of death' at break neck speed around the room. The only thing he hasn't done which our previous Siamese did as kittens, is to climb up the wallpaper. For that we are grateful! - however I think it is only his increasing weight which has stopped him attempting it.

Am I worn out? - yes! but we knew what to expect, which is why I said originally that I thought we were too old for another Siamese kitten! But we love him!

Holocaust day

 (I meant to post this yesterday but an important appointment delayed me doing so. This is  post I have published before, but I think I now have more readers who won't have read it)

I first met Emil Stein over 20 years ago. By then he was no longer working due, I believe, to health issues, and was starting to write down some memories of his early life, primarily for the benefit of his children.

Perhaps he did also hope to get them published, but I think his main drive was to record his memories so that people in the future would not forget the events leading up to the 2nd World war - and its horrendous consequences for the Jewish people in particular.

Emil died many years ago, but I do think of him and never more so than on Holocaust day...

He grew up in what many of us would consider quite privileged circumstances. I don’t recall what his father’s occupation was, but I do know that his uncle was a doctor and one of his cousins, Heinz, who was his idol - was at medical school.

Emil lived somewhere near Prague in Bohemia (part of Sudetenland - where ultimately one of my uncles was kept as a prisoner of war) where on March 15th 1939 Hitler’s troops marched in - bringing with them the Gestapo and the S.S.

The following day long queues formed outside the police headquarters which was where the exit permits had to be obtained. One of his aunts and a young cousin were among those who queued - and were fortunate to receive their permits.

Emil and his older brother were not so fortunate. For three days they had taken turns to queue, but were not successful as there were always thousands of people in line. They lived further away from the department and as they couldn’t leave home until after the curfew had ended they were never near the front.

In desperation they tried Czedok (the state run travel agency) which was where they had bought their tickets.

(This travel agency was how Nicholas Winton got so many children out of Czechoslovakia in his rescue efforts in 1939. They helped him take children out by offering him discounted rail fares. Without this help, his rescue mission would have been far more difficult)

However, for Emil and his brother, getting the passports stamped by a clerk at Czedoc didn’t come without a price - they had to pay 1000 crowns...’Life’ had to be paid for...

On March 22nd the 2 brothers waved one of their aunts and their cousin Ruth goodbye, but Emil had to wait at the same railway platform - between curfew - between the 28th and 30th of March hoping for his brother to return with the stamped documents.

On the 30th - ten minutes before train departure his brother came running through the entrance waving the passports in triumph - followed by their mother.

Somehow they managed time to kiss their mother, who pushed sandwiches into their hands and - with great difficulty - managed to board the overcrowded train.

Within minutes the train moved slowly out of the station and from the window they watched their mother waving a white handkerchief - tears running down her worn out face, with uncontrollable sobs shaking her thin frame.

For the rest of his life he would remember her that way...

His cousin Heinz also manged to escape to France where he joined the Czech army. He reached the rank of Colonel and was awarded the ‘Croix de Guerre’ First Class. After the war he continued his studies and qualified as a doctor.

As for the rest of Emil’s family... He never saw any of them again...

They all perished - many in the concentration camps. Prague was one of the largest Jewish communities in Europe. At least two-thirds of the Jewish population of Prague perished in the Holocaust (over 60,000).

It is estimated that nearly 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust - together with another 5-6 million non Jews (Gypsies, homosexuals, prisoners of war and those with physical and mental disabilities).

When I heard that Emil had died, although I was sad for his wife and children, I hoped - with all my heart - that finally he was re-united with all his loved ones...

Against my better judgement!

Against my better judgement we now have a - reject' -Siamese kitten we have called Georgie. I am a life long cat lover - and a Siamese cat devotee - but at our age and with our problems it didn't seem sensible to have any more animals (I recall saying that about our chickens too!) Siamese kittens are adorable and so loving - but NOT for the faint hearted (Georgie is our 4th). They are both stress relieving and stress making - my nerves are in shreds! J and M are in heaven though and it is all worth it for the happiness a loving pet brings. I try not to worry about the future, just try to take each day as it comes now.

 I think Georgie is made of elastic...

He does not like this harness, but he does tolerate it if you take his mind off it. When he is older we want him to get to know the garden - under our control! We have never kept any of our Siamese in before - but we are now having some qualms as he is the most inquisitive - and biggest climber - we have ever had.

He retrieves his toys and brings them back to us and sometimes - if he is in the mood - when he drops them at our feet and we hold out our hand and say " give it to me" he will pick the item up again and put it directly into our hand. Clever boy!

Just a lock of hair...

Pressed carefully in my dad's family bible is this little lock of hair beside the name shown above. He was just one of my grandfather's siblings who died in childhood - a common enough occurrence in those days...

That small lock of hair would have been their only visible reminder of that little child...

Some Christmas decorations...

I made a garland with shop bought felt, cut out shapes and decorated them... also...

some little mice.

I - almost - completed a snow scene collage - but I got distracted by our new kitten!

The same - but different

Decisions

This was written on Monday when the photo was taken

Merlin is very poorly...

For several years he has had a lot of problems and almost daily little 'accidents' but he has had more the last couple of days. This morning I noticed his back feet and base of his tail are swollen and it is obviously hard for him to walk - he looked at me sadly and blinked his eyes saying " help me".(the photo shows his feet)

J rang the PDSA but he can't be seen until tomorrow afternoon. We have important hospital appointments in London today and tomorrow so we couldn't really have gone earlier anyway. I think that despite passing urine he has a fluid build-up and if it is also around his heart then there is no hope. Much as we love him dearly we pray that perhaps he will pass in his sleep, otherwise we will have to make a decision which will be in his best interests...

He sends his love to all of you who have been following his journey and to remind you that 'Love Is Eternal'


On Wednesday our dear, dear friend went to meet his Maker...

Remembrance day 2011 - Carshalton War Memorial - claiming 2 of my ancestors

This photo shows my dad's paternal grandparents - George Barber and Mary Buckenham. When I first started doing my family research back in 2000 I just used to trawl the Internet tracking down Barber's and Buckenham's in Carshalton, not knowing where they would fit in; but almost knowing for certain the ones I found would be part of my family line.
Most of the information  collected I put in boxes and forgot about them, particularly as in later years there became available so many other ways to track down people and cross reference their details.
When there was a lot of press publicity a couple of weeks ago about the plaque theft from the Carshalton War Memorial - for scrap value - sadly, not an isolated incident, I thought I had better try to verify the connection of the soldiers from WW1 - S H Barber and William Buckenham.
Sidney Herbert Barber was one of the children of the couple in the above photograph and my paternal grandfather's brother...( spelt Sydney on the town's memorial site)

I also have the WW1 service bible of another brother, Arthur.
William Buckenham was initially harder to sort out...

He was the nephew of Mary Buckenham in the first photograph. I had census details of him and his family and realised, both by my papers and the family bible again, that his father had died on November 6 1896 aged only 36. For a time William disappeared from the radar - until I discovered that his mother had married again 4 years later and in the 1901 census he is living with his mother Elizabeth and her husband Edmund Francis. In 1911 he has a half sister along with his own full blood siblings

Having spent years scouring documents I have come to the conclusion that baptismal names are often re-arranged in everyday life- and nearly all have family names repeated as middle or third names - then of course they have nicknames!

Many of my ancestors in the 19th century were farm workers and illiterate and even birthdays were nothing to celebrate - it was more important simply to stay alive - which was no mean feat in those days.

May God Bless and Honour all those on the Carshalton Memorial - as indeed, all around the country.

Foxy's Revenge!

A couple of years ago our son bought a very expensive pair of shoes from a small shop in Canterbury. However, his disabilities made them too heavy for him to wear and his stroke last year made him realise he would never wear them - so he gave them to J for the garden.

The conservatory door was open for a short time this evening and when J decided to go down to the shed he was surprised to find the shoes missing from the doormat.

When he got down the garden his torchlight picked them up and he knew the fox had taken them (every time he chases him off or throws a clod of earth at him he pays us back with some deposit - or stealing something.)

J picked up the shoes - and thought they smelt remarkably foxy, but when he got by the door he realised that Foxy had peed inside both of them!!! - they are now wrapped up and in the dustbin!

Dr Dolan - medical trip to Dehli

This article was in this week's local paper. Dr Dolan took over from my original Rheumotologist when he retired and she has cared for me well over a number of years now.

See http://www.justgiving.com/Louise-Dolan0

What is your position in the world's growing population?

The BBC website has an interesting tool for you to see your place in the world's soaring population growth. Interested? then click HERE

Double Yolkers

Our latest hens obviously won't be laying until the spring - and even then will probably want to sit on them - despite it being a futile exercise. When we have to buy eggs we always buy the above - and more often than not, they are double yolkers - and very tasty eggs too.

The eggs in the above photo are some we have saved (blown of course!) from our hens over the years - ranging from eye watering massive to teeny weeny.

Preparing for snow!

Almost three weeks ago all 3 of us went down with a flu type virus with a dreadful cough - M and myself have been virtually no-where ever since but on Friday we went out in the car.

We had read in the local paper that our London Council BEXLEY had a limited number of bags of rock salt and snow shovels that they were going to sell at cost price. Strangely, they were not at our local recycling centre - the north of the borough, but the south side. (our area is certainly the 'poor' end of the borough where we have such delights as the sewage works, sewage burner - and now a rubbish burner. Perhaps they think it is not very important bothering about our roads!)

Anyway, we had no idea where the other centre was so we used the Sat Nav - which seemed to take us on a scenic route which went on forever... The place was well concealed and we went past it several times without even seeing it.

Eventually we bought our items - which probably now ensures we have no heavy snowfall!  - but we had an 'outing'.

Gardening Competition Update

The prize giving for the Gardening Competition was yesterday evening. Due to my awful cough I wasn't able to go but J went with one of our friends. We hadn't expected to win anything this year as the unusual weather had played havoc with our plants.

Surprisingly, J picked up silver for our back garden and as it was getting so hot he and P were about to leave when he was called up again. This time to get silver for our tiny front garden. This was a real shock - as we hadn't even entered it!!!!! (we had noticed the judge photographing it as he left though)

Our front garden was a complete embarrassment this year - it looked as if Barbie lived here - everything turned out pink. Much as I love pink we definitely didn't plant for plain pink - it was meant to pale pink to deepest pink with blue, lilac and white. Even the 2 climbing roses, although pink but 2 different shades, came out exactly the same.

I will post some photos of the back garden which were taken on the day (when I get a moment). J didn't buy copies of the photos of him being presented with the awards as he said he couldn't see the point. I will try and see if I can get them though.

Titan the robot

I was reminded of Titan by a film clip of him on the TV...

I saw Titan a number of times at The Kent Show (we didn't go this year and I'm not sure if we saw him last year either - however we were there when this video clip was taken.)

Knowing full well it is just a robot has never helped my fear of it! - even the children seem less scared than me ( I generally cower at the rear of the crowd)

I  have had to use someone else's clip as although I have my own  I just can't upload to You Tube anymore - due to my ISP ORANGE  - whom I  hate more and more as I can never stay connected for very long at a time now. The problems started some months ago and although  I contacted them several times they were not helpful. I really should change ISP - but I like my e-mail address and it would cause me even more hassle.

Enjoy Titan!

Alan Carr - Crayford

I recorded the 'Who do you think you are' programme (featuring Alan Carr) last week, but never got round to watching it until this evening.

I'd heard of his links with Crayford - where both Jon and I come from. However, it was interesting to learn how his great grandfather had ended up in the town after deserting during the 1st world war; and how he had managed to 'lose' his identity by changing his name and working for Vickers the armaments factory.

When they showed the electoral role for 1919 I had to pause the TV - for there just a few names below his great grandfather (given there as Richard Mercer) was my husband's great grand parents - Ethel and Henry Wade - it is indeed a small world!

Alessi

We love Alessi designs, but confess that we use them as decoration rather than for their designed purpose

Filled with love

I made this hand needle felted and decorated puffed heart over the weekend for someone special

Autumnal changes in the garden

Remember to click the photos to enlarge

The changes in the garden are now more apparent and we have already harvested and completely dug up loads of our vegetables. The colder nights have meant the flowers and trees are beginning to yellow and lose their leaves. We have already started bringing in some of the very tender plants. Many others need potting up and putting in the greenhouse - and will have to take their chances with the winter weather.

We will have to heat the greenhouse on really cold nights (which we always used to do). Last winter we didn't and it was so cold we lost most of our plants.

Sad though it is, this year we are lifting early as once it starts to get too wet and windy it becomes an unpleasant task. The deadly cactus' are back in their box - they need the protective sides or rather, I DO! as in previous years I have suffered the pain of a falling cactus - getting the needles out of skin isn't pleasant!

On a dreary, cold Bank Holiday Monday...

Summer bank holidays used to be something very special indeed. The same scene was re-enacted all over the country- here in the suburbs around London during the 1920's and 30's, railway stations would be filled with thousands of people all waiting for the special trains which had been laid on for them. Their destination could be Southend or maybe Margate, or any other of the nearby seaside towns.

In the photo above it is the 1920's and my dad is on the left of the middle row. I believe he is with his cousins - probably the 3 at the back are the photographer's assistants - or perhaps artistes from an end of the pier show.

Below is what I wrote about bank Holidays several years ago:-



Bank Holiday weekend - and a coach trip down to Margate was always a great day out when I was young. I haven't been there for years - and I would probably be sorely disappointed if I re-visited... best to remember things how they were.

When few people had cars, coach trips to the coast were so looked forward to...

These photos show Dad and friends stopping off en route (as was usual!) on one of their - men only - 'beanos'. (when it was a mixed outing we still ate, drank and sang on the coach and stopped midway for extra refreshments! )

Photo below is one of M taken on the beach at Margate over 30 years ago.